A little bit of humor goes a long way when it comes to boat ownership and boat maintenance. Maintaining one’s boat in tip-top condition for safety and peace of mind is an ongoing challenge throughout the year, no matter if at the beginning of the season, the end of the season, or in between. Even minor maintenance items can crop up, but it helps to approach these projects with some humor. Here’s a few boating axioms by award winning marine journalist, Chris Caswell to tickle the funny bone:
- Stainless steel isn’t.
- Painting the bottom of your boat or varnishing a caprail will require 2 ounces more paint than is contained in any standard can.
- The depth of the bilge where engine parts fall is always the exact length of your arm’s reach, plus 1 inch.
- In every repair, a little blood must flow.
- The most likely location for a deck leak is directly over the owner’s bunk.
- The part most likely to break is the most expensive, the hardest to replace, or both.
- Leak-proof ports and hatches aren’t.
- Interchangeable parts aren’t.
- Everything is much easier to take apart than to put back together.
- When all else fails, read the manual.
- Hot engine parts look exactly like cold engine parts.
And a favorite quote that we have all heard and seems so true, “boating is making repairs in exotic places.” These axioms are a good reminder to carry spare parts, add extra days to the itinerary, and keep a sense of humor.
Photo: Marine Tec Center, Anacortes
